13 Apr BULLETPROOF T SHIRTS
The bulletproof t shirt – perfect for demonstrations, marches, protests and riots.
This will revolutionize street-level politicking.
When the humble t shirt first sported its first slogan – the individual could wear his or her politics like a body flag. It empowered the individual and gave a soapbox to any single voice among the people.
No longer did activists have to carry a cumbersome sign. Wearing a t shirt meant your hands could be free to do other things – like grapple with the police, discharge weapons or simply eat a burger. And while your mouth was full, your body did the talking via t shirt sloganeering.
Now that they're bulletproof, activists can take on the big guns of government and protest with even more vigor and perhaps even some level of invincibility. Unless you get shot in the head. Of course, you could always adopt the soccer players practice of pulling your bulletproof t shirt over your head – but you do risk leaving the chest area vulnerable to bullet attack. The answer is clearly to wear t shirts over all your vital organs.
US scientists have developed a flexible material from boron – a substance used in tank armour. Boron happens to be the 3rd hardest material on the planet.
The applications are endless. Just like the Snuggy – when Home Shopping channels start playing the 20 minute advertorials selling the bulletproof t shirts all over the western world, gunshot deaths should be on the decline.
You too can be 10 foot tall and bulletproof – for 3 easy monthly payments of just $29.99. And if you call in the next 15 minutes, we'll let you try it for free. And if you're not completely satisfied, we'll let you keep the bloody mess you made of our product and refund you the purchase price – less postage and handling.
Hey – it's a good deal…